Egocentricity

I have a client who keeps coming back.  Okay, I have a lot of clients who keep coming back, but this guy is different from most.  He's a soft-spoken, intelligent guy with full-blown AIDS (according to his self-diagnosis).  He's an addict and he steals from people he knows, from people who trusted him.  Every time he comes back he tells me how sorry he is that he is back and that he is making more work for me.  Are you kidding me, dude?  Your little penny ante crap case is barely a blip on my radar.  What makes more work for me is when you call me multiple times per day from the jail and leave a message each time asking the same questions, telling me the same information, relaying the same delusional wishes, wanting me to talk to the same irrelevant people.  That is work.  That is a motivation suck.  It's not your case, it is your perseverating freaking personality. 

And speaking of perseverating, I had another client, a white guy in his 20s whose drug of choice is whatever you've got on hand, who called me for two days in a row every hour of the workday and left the same message each time he called.  No kidding.  9:10 a.m.:  "What have you heard about my plea deal?" 10:20 a.m.:  "What have you heard about my plea deal?"   11:13 a.m.:  "What have you heard about my plea deal?"  And on and on and on for two solid days.  Even if you felt the need to call every hour, what is the thought process that leads you to leave the exact same message every time you call?  She'll call me back sooner if she knows I've put 15 messages on her voice mail?  She'll definitely know what I want because I've left 15 messages that ask the same question?  I do not know, cannot pretend to know, how this would ever seem like a good idea. 

Dealing with addicts, as so many of our clients are, is incredibly difficult.  Their brains have been damaged by drug abuse and they quite simply are not wired the same as those of us who think logically.  The overriding characteristic is that of egocentricity.  They are the center of the universe - theirs, their family's, and, they presume, mine.  Even when I try to explain to them that they do not define my world, it's hopeless.  They cannot understand.